Living Seoul

Last week I ordered some Egon Schiele prints on Amazon. I’ve been telling myself not to invest too much time or money in apartment decorations since I’m moving out in July. But one last blank wall in my apartment became too bland.

I first knew of Egon Schiele when I lived in Barcelona. I went to an exhibition at Fundació Joan Miró, a museum of Miró’s work. Besides his own stuff there was a traveling exhibition called “Un cos sense limits” (A body without limits). I’d always appreciated nude artwork, but this one made me want to start a collection. There were paintings by Matisse, Picasso, Miró, Magritte, Basquiat and, of course, Schiele. His painting was used on the front of the brochure for the exhibit. I looked at more of his work online once I was back at home and found his gaunt, watery and kinda craggly characters appealing. He was a protégé of Klimt, another artist I generally prefer.

So these are the prints I have hanging in my living room now. My friend and I had a hell of a time trying to hang them evenly. For each hole with a nail in it there are at least two others where we made a mistake. And I hope the realtors are happy to find a vagina on the wall when they show my apartment night and day.

:)

It’s Selena Day in Texas! She would have turned 39 today if she were still alive. ¡Viva Selena!

Her best song…

Como La Flor

Yo sé que tienes un nuevo amor
Sin embargo te deseo lo mejor
Si en mí no encontraste felicidad
Tal vez alguien más te la dará

Como la flor
Con tanto amor
Me diste tú
Se marchitó
Me marcho hoy
Yo sé perder
Pero ay…
Cómo me duele
Ay…
Cómo me duele

Si vieras como duele perder tu amor
Con tu adiós te llevas mi corazón
No sé si peuda volver a amar
Porque te di todo el amor que pude dar

Legendary performance in February 1995 at Houston Astrodome. Broke attendance records. She was killed just a month later. RIP

Every time I try to lie, sneak around or do anything I’m not supposed to be doing I get caught. I can’t get away with anything. It’s an unfortunate fact of my life, but I like to think it makes me a better person…a more upstanding citizen maybe. Today I got a ticket for my inspection sticker! I knew it was going to happen. I’ve been worrying about it for a couple months but kept telling myself the chances of getting caught were so slim. But I knew all along, for me, the chances were high. And I’d just called my mom yesterday to tell her I’m coming home AGAIN this weekend to get it taken care of. Then the next day I get a ticket. If getting a ticket didn’t suck enough, my BOSS was in the car with me. It was actually okay because she made me feel better about it. It was comforting to have someone else there. And the cop was actually super nice about it. He didn’t try to give me a ticket for any other violations. Oh well. Stanks, but could be worse. Hopefully I can get out of it.

***

The other badness that’s been on my mind is the case about a little boy who went missing and was found dead in a neighborhood a couple miles from his apartment a few hours later. This forum covers most of the nuts and bolts of the incident. It includes stories and follow-ups from most of the major news outlets in Austin.

I keep checking the news to see if they’ve released any new information. It upsets me badly, probably because it’s an innocent kid. More than anything I want to know WHY. He was left with his dad’s girlfriend and hadn’t seen his dad in a week. Hadn’t seen his mom who was separated from his dad for a month. I want remain open-minded, but it seems like the kid had rotten parents. If you live in the same city as your child why do you go a whole month without seeing them? I don’t have any idea what it’s like to be a parent or even have parental type feelings…but I know most parents are CRAZY about their kids.

And he disappeared in the middle of the night. The girlfriend noticed him missing at 5:30AM and the door was unlocked. How would he just get out and walk a mile away? And then get killed. His autopsy said he had internal injuries but I think one of the parents said his body was “all bruised up.” I get a really bad feeling about it. Makes me angry. How could anyone kill a child? How, how, how?

I started putting together theories in my mind based on info I read and other people’s comments. It’s unlikely, but he could have somehow left the apartment on his own and gotten hit by a car. The girlfriend could have shaken him to death (or beat him if the bruises were true) and then dumped his body. Maybe she was taking anger out on the kid if the dad hadn’t been there in a week…? There could have been an intruder who entered, snatched him, killed him and left him. Though the intruder would have had to know family or the girlfriend somehow. I have the strongest feeling that the girlfriend is either to blame or knows the person to blame. She his been absent from the situation since it happened. Reports are saying she’s cooperating with police. But she didn’t call anyone about the missing child till 90 minutes after she noticed he was gone. She said she was looking for him on her own…but there were two other children at the house…who was caring for them at that time? It’s weird and bothers me.

There been at least five homicides in Austin since the beginning of this month. : (

***

And now for more dreams…

I was invited to the home of a cryptic character in my real life. However, I was invited at night and had to let myself in. The person I sought was in a private office with frosted glass windows in the back of the house. I tried to get a glimpse of the mysterious person through the cracks separating the window panels. I could see a man with short brown hair, almost shaved, with a very slight receding hair line. He was thin, dressed in business clothes and paced around his office on a cell phone. I sat down to work on business in the living room but it was awkward, dark and I didn’t want to turn on the lights. The man comes out and sits down to eat at table behind me. He doesn’t turn on any lights and doesn’t say anything. I am trying not to look but I am plagued by curiosity. Finally we end up discussing business and the mystery man reveals that he is a cop. I am shocked because I spent so much speculating about his possible professions and had never considered this. I woke up from the dream very suddenly and startled. It was 1:30AM and I fell back asleep quickly.

Later in early morning I dreamt I was at a morphing house. It started out as the house of the grandmother of someone I used to be very close with in my real life. I was house-sitting while she was away on a vacation. Before she left she’d shown me through the house and was upset because parts of it were run down or falling apart. She told me she was too elderly to fix the problems herself and did her best. Other parts of the house were immaculate. The house itself was maze-like and hard to maneuver though. There was a pet that I was responsible for…a dog. I was there one afternoon and someone knocked on the door. My paranoid dream-self freaked out. I convinced myself I was hearing things but went to the front door anyway to check. I peered through the blinds and saw a man’s torso. He was tall, wearing a salmon colored shirt. I didn’t even look at his face and BOLTED toward the back of the house. It was difficult because of the maziness of the home. I ended up outside in an old garage or shack type building. I could see into the kitchen from where I stood. The man had entered. It was someone I work with who inexplicably creeps me in my real life. I wasn’t pleased to see him in the house, but knew he wouldn’t kill me so I went inside and talked to him. He had permission to be there and I hadn’t been told. He was bent over feeding the dog. I wanted to GTFO.

Then the house morphs from the grandmotherly house into a house filled with people. My dad’s wife is having her huge Filipino family stay while her and my dad are renewing their vows or having some kind of belated wedding party. Everyone is friendly, busy and milling around. I don’t really know anyone and am trying to stay out of the way. It was exactly like the tone of the house in “Home Alone” right before they leave for France. Dad can’t find Lovenieh (his wife) anywhere. I notice her on a couch crying in another room and tell my dad. She comes out of the room in fancy clothes wiping her eyes. I go to a bathroom upstairs to apply lipstick for the event. As I’m carefully applying the salmon colored lipstick (not normal for me) my dad walks in. He starts talking to me like we’re best friends. Then I drop my lipstick and have to crawl around behind the toilet to get it. Then it’s time to leave and I wake up.

Hedgie with bagpipes riding a rooster!!!

I took a few fashion magazines from Mom’s house back to Austin with me the other weekend. I finally flipped through them this past week and I have a strong feeling that tribal prints are going to go wild this summer. I foresee a trend…if it’s not a hardcore trend already. I haven’t been clothes shopping in a while.

It makes me think of 2007 when M.I.A. was all the rage. Paper planes, bright album cover and crazy outfits.

It’s a perfectly acceptable trend, I just hope it doesn’t go the way of the gladiator sandals and maxi dresses. Overdone blahhhh. The trend’s probably already come and gone with people in the fashion industry…but this summer it’s for commoners.

***

Tonight I cooked dinner. I’m proud of the tastiness. Salmon helps me to believe I can cook. Besides the baked salmon I sauteed broccoli with olive oil, garlic and crushed red pepper. And sourdough bread goes surprisingly well with salmon, too. Satisfaction and full stomach.

The strange dreams continue but I’m just remembering bits and pieces. A few nights ago I dreamt I was shooting a drug into my veins and I lived at my office building. An overweight co-worker got in trouble for wearing gigantic platform shoes made from steel. There was a crazy teen in the parking lot driving recklessly. When we stopped to find out what the heck he was doing we noticed young children in the backseat. Then we yelled at him. The next night I can only remember part of my dream where I was in my car with someone else…kind of like a mixture of a few different people I’ve dated. We were trying to get to an island not far from the coast. The car was driving on thin patches of sand/dirt barely above the water. My car is low to the ground and we didn’t make it to the island because the water got too high and my car was in danger of flooding.

***

This past week I became inspired by paint chip art. I decided I was going to try myself this weekend. Of course it didn’t turn out right because I’m no artist…I’m more of a crafter. I hung it on the wall despite my frustration. I might add to it or just learn to accept the big bright mess. Formerly my bedroom was completely white and I’ve been meaning to add color. I would have just painted the walls but I rent. Too much pain and suffering. Anyway…see below. (Sadly it looks better in the picture, hahahaha.)

***

I get a lot of bruises on my legs. Mom is always first to comment about how awful they look. Though I think the reaction is kind of funny and sometimes I provoke it. : ) Most people ask, “What did you dooooooo?” [to get that ugly bruise?] I wish there were great stories behind any of them. There never is. I’m always running into stuff. Mostly cabinets and the edge of my bed. I forget stuff is in the way. I have a low sense of body awareness. Which would also explain why I’m a pathetic dancer. I currently have a couple bruises on my left upper thigh. I think the faded one is an airplane travel bruise and the other is from the bed edge.

I was scoping them out in the shower yesterday thinking how funny they looked. In the midst of that I fell over into the soap holder thingy, hahahahaha. What a mess. I have a new bruise and a half from it.

Geez. I need to take it easy.

Last night I dreamt my sister and I survived a tornado. Dreaming about tornadoes can’t be good according to the dream dictionary. At least we knew it was coming and had time to prepare. We were in a hallway with a many other people in a public building close to my apartment in Austin.

***

I had a semi-stressful weekend in Houston trying to deal with gross adult problems like my car and taxes.

My car needs a new catalytic converter to pass inspection. It’s already overdue. A new catalytic converter from Honda is going to cost me $1200 for parts/labor/inspection. Can’t seem to use an aftermarket catalytic converter on my car and get it to work right. Has to do with the specific type of car I drive. So right now I’ve devised an alternate plan. This car…it’s like an adorable child that’s usually well-behaved. Then occasionally it acts up and makes a big scene but you can’t stay mad because you love it too much.

I did my taxes after Easter church services on Sunday. I cried (only for about 30 seconds) because I realized I owed more than $1000. Stupid exemptions ruined me! My dad helped me lower it slightly because I opened an IRA. Learning about $$$ but it comes at a costtttttt.

My mood improved because we ate lasagne for Easter dinner. Then my sister, dad and I all laid on the couch and fell asleep listening to Italian music. Mom gave me some Easter candy and promised to help me with my car situation. My family is what saves me, love them!

Glad to return to Austin–welcomed by 100% marvelous balcony weather. Every day I’ve been arriving home from work and sitting outside. A time to leave the doors and windows wide open. I have to enjoy this while it lasts. Then it’s time for pools, rivers and bathing suits.

The strange dreams continued over the weekend.

Friday night I dreamt that my sister and I were exploring in East Austin. We came upon a man sitting outside run down concrete coffee shop reading a newspaper. He looked like a mix of Terry Richardson (creepy hipster photographer) and one of my sister’s ex-boyfriends. My sister talked to him and somehow after that we had multiple guns. I’m not sure he gave them to us. I had a long rifle/shotgun type weapon and my sister had at least two pistols. ***In reality my sister and I don’t know anything about guns and we’re not violent people.*** We started shooting. My sister wanted to shoot at people. I told her to at least try to shoot them in the arm or leg and not the face or chest. I told her we shouldn’t try to kill anyone. She didn’t seem to hear or care. Then we were standing in front of a large brick residential building, recently built. My sister insisted on running upstairs to the roof so she could shoot people like a sniper. I refused to go with her. Within minutes I saw her on the roof aiming her gun at me. I started screaming, “It’s Melinda! Don’t shoot me!”  She came back down and I gave her my guns because I didn’t want to be involved anymore.

The next night I dreamt that I went to Asia to teach English. It was supposedly South Korea, but it didn’t look anything like the pictures. It was poor, tropical and had terrible infrastructure. I was given my housing assignment and forced to live underwater without an oxygen tank. We had to hold our breath. There was an area above water, but it was more like a public park where other people came to hang out. I tried telling my superiors that I needed a different apartment because I don’t have a very good lung capacity. No one cared. I had a male roommate who knew what a coocoolooloo was. (The hair that sprouts from a little bow on top of prissy dog’s head.) I told him he was perfect.