Fourth of July just ended. I can’t sleep. There are still fireworks blowing up in my head.
When I got back to my Mom’s tonight I had an email with my flight confirmation. Looks like I leave August 7th. Early early early in the morning. Singapore Airlines. I think they had a beautiful ad once that I noticed in a magazine.
I wondered earlier this year how people decide to stay in a city. I mean long term…for more than a year or so. I thought about myself. I stayed in Austin four years because of school. Then I stayed here because I got a job. It was supposed to be temporary. I sort of intended to move since 2008 but I just now got around to making it happen. I’ve been here six years total. Too long. And it’s not about disliking Austin. I think Austin is a great town. How do you know when it’s time to move on?
I couldn’t understand how it didn’t get old. The same restaurants, bars, stores, same people, same incestuous social circles, same roads every day, same events each year, same job, same place to live. It’s obviously my thinking that proves to me that Austin was not fitting right anymore. There must be a place somewhere that doesn’t get old. I realized though, it’s not all about the place anyway. It’s about what you’re doing in the place and who’s there with you. When you’re not doing what stimulates you and you don’t feel strong attachments to the people around you, the place can’t feel like home. Is this right? It starts to feel like going through the motions. I shouldn’t be going through the motions at age 24. That’s just not acceptable.
Granted, I’ve been able to do such interesting stuff the past year-ish. Probably in some effort to distract myself. Lots of mini-travels. Shows. Walks. Dinners. Guests. Tents in the living room. Minor league baseball games. Caving. Swimming.
It’s wanderlust. Escapism.
One day I’d like to feel settled. But I can’t imagine it now.
As a result of my recent interest in Asian culture, I decided to watch Spirited Away with a friend last week. I like to think of it as an anime movie for people who don’t think they’d enjoy anime. I first saw it after it came out on video. My whiny high school self had to be convinced to even give it a chance. I thought anime was so silly (Pokemon / Dragonball Z / I don’t know). I still don’t particularly like cartoons or animated movies. However, I was completely impressed. And I think I appreciated it even more this second time around. Vanessa and I squealed with delight when we saw Lin feed colorful stars to the adorable dust bunnies!
My curiosity caused me to do some Google research on these dirty dust balls. I realized they’re actually called Soot Sprites or Susuwatari, meaning “travelling soot” in Japanese. Look at :45 to see the scene where I fell in LOVEEEE!
Besides Soot Sprites existing in Spirited Away they’re also featured in Totoro, which I have not seen.
The reasons I like them:
-lanky
-curious
-adoring
-minuscule
-modest
-fuzzy
-loyal
-shy
-frightful
They’d make great pets and I don’t even prefer pets.
Also, I found these awesome shoes. I want to make some!
A few weeks ago I got the idea to build a fort. Like, the kind you build with friends or siblings when you’re small. My sister and I loved creating forts, though sometimes Mom would get irritated that we took our beds apart and rearranged a bunch of furniture. More than 15 years later I almost thought I lost the skill when I tried to build one last week. I couldn’t get any of the edges of the blankets to stay in place. Scarves became handy. I had to incorporate my computer, TV and speakers so I could watch movies and listen to music in the fort. The overall result was satisfactory, not excellent.
I left it up Thursday through Sunday. Had to take it down because I couldn’t use my couch. I don’t think I’ll build another one for a while. Got it out of my system.
This weekend made me realize how much and why I’ll miss Austin. I spent two whole days laying around at the pool with friends. This city has such a great summertime culture. The Greenbelt, Lake Travis, various pools, kayaking, Tex-Mex and margs, grilling with friends, biking around, shaved ice, hanging out on porches and patios in makeshift chairs. Summer has never been my favorite season, but there’s an appeal when you spend it here. There’s a lot to appreciate about this place, but sometimes the memories get too heavy and you start to see the same scenery too many times. Doesn’t mean I won’t miss it.
—Some recent bodily thoughts—
Teeth: Lately I’ve become phobic about my teeth falling out. I was eating some Milk Duds last week and I swear I felt a tiny bit of my filling come loose. I saw a tiny spec of porcelain on my finger. My face turned red and my heart raced. I had a flashback to the time my tooth cracked off in San Francisco. Now, every time I get a weird bite of something tiny and hard I panic. It’s usually just a little seed or bit of grain. Fortunately I see the dentist in two days.
Feet: I’ve officially given up. I used to occasionally get pedicures with my sister in Houston. I’d paint the little piggies myself sometimes. I’d make attempts to scrub with pumice in the tub. I don’t care anymore. Feet are for transport. Sure, I’ll keep the nails clipped. I’ll do the bare minimum, but that’s IT. No more foot frills. I don’t care.
Hair: I have no desire for short hair. It’s finally the longest it’s been since the compulsory trauma chop in 2006. I want to keep it growing. I want my hand to get stuck in it. I love my long(er) hair right now!
On a totally silly and unrelated note, I found this next to my garbage can under my sink. Made me giggle.
